my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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