i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just cropdusted the office
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
