her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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