i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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