So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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