you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
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You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
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After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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