Can Purell be used as lube?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
