Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My bed smells like the plague
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize