mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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