i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
