her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
