I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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