Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
