some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
