Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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