I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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