Dude my mom stole all your condoms
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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