He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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