so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
smell my finger.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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