i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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