i think my tv is drunk
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
