Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
