Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
