make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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