i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
