I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize