I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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