Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
