had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
NoShamevember. You game?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
