i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
