I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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