That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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