Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
