Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
