It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
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who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize