What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
