I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
