I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize