dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
