I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
