he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
