i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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