i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
