Banned from zoo.
Again?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
