it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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