So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Someone came in the potted fern
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
