meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Everclear isn't food dammit
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
