no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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