11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
