i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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