i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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