I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
