i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i drank out of a bidet.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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