We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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