I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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