Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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