As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
