That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
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the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
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I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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