When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
